playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
