The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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