Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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