help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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