i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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