He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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