i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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