I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
