If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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