Soap is not a condiment
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
