YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
