I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
