i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
