Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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