Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
