Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
