Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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