Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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