You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
