Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have tasted many bathrooms
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
