I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We need to rekindle our bromance
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
