no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
