On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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