I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
