Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize