ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
