That's intense
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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