then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
