He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dicks are not precious.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
