I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
