He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
