any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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