If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
