so that wasnt chicken after all
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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