he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
