i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
