Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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