Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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