I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
