i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
