Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
