It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Mom said you looked used
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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