Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
