He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You took a bar mat shot.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
