mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
