I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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