I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
did you just send me my own nude
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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