He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
