hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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