Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Holy shit dude........stairs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
